The Diary of Katrina 
 
 August 21, 1885
     He looked at me today. His dark brown eyes met mine for a second, bringing about sensations I never expected. The moment our eyes locked, goose pimples scattered over my shoulders and down my spine. I was jolted upright and my breath caught in my throat. My lips parted as I unconsciously licked the soft pink surface. I stood there completely transfixed by his presence.  Then, his father entered and the magical moment was shattered. The tray balanced on my ivory palm tipped, causing the porcelain dishes to crash onto the floor. I gazed down at the broken pieces, temporarily losing touch with reality. This is what my life has amounted to. I am merely a servant girl who will never become anything more. I spend my days dreaming of Phillip. Sometimes, I picture us running away from this horrible place. I imagine him wrapping those strong arms around my frail body. I dream of being content and happy. But the tray always falls and everything always comes crashing down.

September 14, 1885
     I believe that I might be going insane. When I’m walking through the woods near the house, I sense someone watching me. I feel a presence nearby but nothing ever reveals itself. The other day, when I was resting by the pond, I heard the leaves rustle behind me. I turned quickly but only saw the branches of the great trees dancing in the wind.

September 28, 1885
     I had to have been dreaming. It couldn’t have really happened. It couldn’t have. Oh, but it did! I passed Phillip near the barn this afternoon and he kissed me! When I saw him coming, I lowered my head and eyed the ground. Shamefully, I huddled my arms over my chest.  Continuing to look down, I focused on one single stone. But I was unable to keep my gaze there for long. Finally, I unwillingly allowed my eyes to flicker up and I was stunned by what I saw. He was staring straight back at me! I didn’t understand. I am a low-life. No one in the family ever recognizes me. But there he was, focused on only me. Then it happened. He gathered me into his arms and pushed me up against the wooden barn. I felt the boards stab into my back but I didn’t care. His lips softly met mine. It was only for a moment at first. Then, hesitantly, he applied more pressure. I melted into him and he held me there. His embrace was the only thing keeping me upright. But eventually it ended. He pulled away slightly, looking down at me. I stared back as he continued to gaze at me, letting his usually kept brown hair fall into his eyes. He didn’t release me instantly. Instead, he pulled me close with my cheek nestled against his toned chest.

October 15, 1885
     At night, he comes for me.  He slips out of the main house and creeps next to my window. Sometimes, when I am too eager to wait, I gaze out the glass pane, waiting for him. I watch him dash through the grass until he reaches the bush below me. Then he crouches on his knees and waits. It is such an unusual sight that I can’t help but laugh! After he straightens his hair, he quietly knocks three times, signaling his presence. Oh, how I treasure those midnight moments. Every morning after, I am filled with longing until the stars light the night sky again.

November 4, 1885
      I fear that I have completely fallen in love with him.

 December 24, 1885
     As I write, the wind is blowing angrily against the paper thin walls surrounding me. It is seeping in through the cracks and biting at my exposed skin. I can’t help but shake with every stroke I put down.
      It is Christmas Eve and I have been shooed away from the main house. The master told me I was no longer needed for the night and commanded I leave the family alone. Fire lit his eyes as he glared at me. Boldly looking up, I stared back, feeling the loathing that radiated from the old man.
     Now, I hesitantly wrap my arm around my stomach, trying to hold the warmth at my center. Because I fear…I fear I am with child.

April 22, 1886
     I do not think I am going to be able to hide my bulging belly for much longer. Every time the master’s hateful gaze settles on me, I am filled with dread. I constantly worry that if he finds out… Well, I don’t even want to consider the consequences because he is filled with so much anger already.
     Thankfully, Phillip has been here for me over the last few months. Almost every night, he still comes to see me. Instead of staying in my damp room, however, we take strolls through the woods. And as we walk, hand in hand, we dream of our future.
     The baby loves Phillip just as much as I do. I know this because whenever he comes near me, I feel the baby kick furiously. When this happens, Phillip always smiles and places his palm on my stomach, feeling the life we have made together.

 May 13, 1886
     The master found out today. In a second, he had raised his fist and knocked me down. Then, he stood over me, stiff like the statues in the town square. His face was contorted into a horrifying grimace. Uncontrollably, I turned away and buried my face in my arms, hiding from the monster before me. That was when he started yelling with so much force I swear I felt the ground beneath me shake with terror. Suddenly, after the yelling subsided, he laughed. “Hure^*,” he swore, spitting on me. Then, he swiftly kicked me in the side and he left the room.

July 16, 1886
     Yesterday, my baby boy was born. The moment I laid my eyes on him, I was filled with an indescribable amount of love. Immediately, I knew we would be connected forever somehow. It was like a thread was laced from my heart to him. When I first heard his cry, I felt the thread tug, pulling me to him. Phillip came shortly after I gave birth. He held his son in his arms, his eyes gleaming with pride. Then, looking up, he announced the name he had chosen for his first born.  “Reinhold,” he proclaimed, letting the child snuggle in his arms.

September 2, 1889
     I cannot believe I have had this tucked away in my trunk for over three years. As I dug through the piles of old clothes, looking for something suitable to wear to my wedding, I noticed the familiar worn leather bound book. I flipped through it and was momentarily transported back to the past.
     Today is a new day, however. It’s a new start. I’m finally getting married to my dear Phillip! We are going to be a family at last!
     We know his family will not approve though so we have planned an escape from this country. We are going to America! Phillip said we can live peacefully there.
     We are leaving right after we wed. We have made arrangements to be at a port leaving for the Americas tonight. Phillip is sure his father will try to prevent us from leaving, so we have told a few of Phillip’s friends that we are leaving from a different location. Hopefully, the master won’t find us.
     After tonight, I’ll finally be free!
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     Phillip I Hornbacher, who was simply referred to as “the master” in the story, migrated to Lichtenfeld, Russia from Germany when he was promised riches and power from the Russian government. Lichtenfeld, a small town in southern Russian, is near the town of Hornbacher. Once there, Phillip acquired a lot of wealth. He owned homes, land, livestock, horses, and chariots. He also had many male and female servants. The woman servants lived in separate quarters near the main house. These servants cooked the meals in what was called the “black kitchen” and served them to the Hornbacher family. The servants were lowly peasants and were not of the same social stature as the Hornbachers.
     Phillip I’s son, Phillip II (my great-great grandfather), fell in love with one of these servants. Her name was Katrina, which was pronounced “Katra”. They conceived a child out of wedlock causing Phillip I to become infuriated. Their baby boy, Reinhold (my great grandfather), was born on July 15, 1886.
     After the birth of their child, the young couple grew more and more fearful. After three long years, they planned an escape to America. They were married in Russia in 1889 and left the country soon after that. Expecting Phillip I to try to stop them, they lied to their good friends, telling them they were parting from a different port. Just as the lovers had thought, Phillip I discovered they were missing and coaxed the couple’s friends into disclosing the departure location. Full of rage, Phillip I took one of his most prized horses and raced off to the port, but Phillip II, Katrina, and baby Reinhold were not found. The young family was safely at another port, departing to their new future. Years later, Phillip and Katrina tried to contact the elderly man. They begged him to come live with them in America. He refused, having disowned Phillip II long ago. Phillip II and Katrina even sent money to Phillip I’s Russian pastor, hoping the man would change his mind and move. Ultimately, Phillip I lost everything he had to the Russian government. He died from starvation or pneumonia. The wealthy man left this world as a pauper, living alone in a sod shack.
     Phillip II and Katrina were married 46 years, until Katrina past away. They had ten children including: Reinhold, Sophie, Martha, Phillip III, Ernest, Ben, Ted, Rose, Lydia, and Magdaline.
     Despite everything she went through, Katrina always carried the stigma of being a peasant girl. 
*Hure is translated from German as a very offensive term meaning whore. (About)

The Phillip (II) Hornbacher family (taken in 1902)
(My Family)

 Phillip II and Katrina (taken in the early 1930’s)
(My Family)

The town of Hornbacher, Russia is shown on the middle southern end of the map (B4).
(Roll International)